No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
