bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
