Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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