I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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