So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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