I want to stick my p in your. b.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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