Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm at about main and main street
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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