What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
