who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
