remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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