why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize