hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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