That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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