you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
