I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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