she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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