He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she looked like the before picture.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
