Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
