I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
