Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
