You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
