Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
