you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think my moral compass just broke
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