I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
