I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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