i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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