All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
