I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
