It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
