im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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