I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
