seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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