hotel room ftw
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
