people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
