Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
and you fell through a lawn chair
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
