I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
