so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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