The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
