She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
