you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize