wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
