hotel room ftw
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
