How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
