Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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