I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
