Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
