The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
