why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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