the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
