Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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