only if we run a train.
done.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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