She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
