Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
