Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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