dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
