I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
