He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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