She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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