Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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