Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
