I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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