why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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