its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize