Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
